The Need for Purpose

The Need for Purpose

Jessica Felix Jager, MSW

As we all journey through life and get older, the timeless and fundamental human development questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? and What is my Purpose?,” begin to entertain our thoughts. For many of us, it is when we find the answers to these fundamental questions that we begin to gain a sense of meaning or purpose in our lives. When I was a little girl at the age of 6, I recall sitting in my first grade classroom in Germany learning that I could be anything I wanted to be when I became an adult. What does that mean exactly? Could I become a singer just because I wanted to? Or could I become the next Van Gogh using my doodling skills? As I grew older I learned that there is a difference in becoming who you are, rather than becoming what you want to be.

Can anyone truly be a singer merely because he or she wants to be one? What if he or she is tone deaf and cannot sing on key if life itself depended on it? The point here is that we are each uniquely made with different skills, talents and purposes that incorporate these natural skills within us. Although acquired and learned skills are essential for implicating our natural skills, it is still important to note that there is a difference between becoming who you are rather than what you want to be.

It is when we find our sense of purpose that we begin our journey of becoming who we are as individuals. For example, Mother Teresa did not become the epitome of true servant hood until she actively lived her purpose. Mother Teresa found that her purpose in this life was to love God and His people by serving them and meeting their needs by any means necessary. Suppose Mother Teresa fought who she was and instead became a stewardess. How would life as we know it have been different? How would the lives of all those she impacted in Calcutta have been different? As she lived out her purpose, she became who she was- a true servant of God.

Some may now be asking, “So how does one find their purpose and then live it?” The answer to this question can only be answered by the one asking the question. Each of us have been made uniquely, with different abilities. We all must search within ourselves and ask ourselves “What do I love to do? What stirs me up inside when I am doing it? What makes me feel a sense of worth and passion when I am doing it? What makes me feel accomplished?” If one can ask these questions and answer them, the hard part is done. Once you identify your passions, the foundation for your purpose in this life has been laid. Everything else you do from here on out should build off of this foundation. The need for purpose is prevalent to each of us, as it ultimately defines us.

Now here is the twist. You find your passion and purpose and then with no forewarning a traumatic accident or event takes place, and life as you once knew it is no more. What now?

The millions of American’s that have been diagnosed with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) find themselves asking this very question: “What now?” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that at least 5.3 million Americans currently have a long-term or lifelong need for help to perform activities of daily living as a result of a TBI (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010). According to Brain Injury Association of America, Brain Injury is the second most prevalent injury and disability in the United States (2007). The second most prevalent, means that acquiring a Brain Injury via a traumatic event has become common. Over 1.7 million people sustain a TBI each year (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010). It could happen to anyone on any given day, and would result in needing to re-learn one’s self, one’s limitations, how to function in society again and how to re-gain a new sense of purpose to be motivated and keep going. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, TBI can cause a wide range of functional changes affecting thinking, language, learning, emotions, behavior, and/or sensation (2010).

There are different ways one may acquire a brain injury and no brain injury is the same, as it affects each individual differently. The rationale of this article is not to define what a TBI is or how one may receive it. The principle of this article is to focus on how a traumatic event that results in a Brain Injury can affect an individual’s sense of purpose, and what measures can be taken to help the Survivor find purpose once again. This article will attempt to articulate how identifying a new purpose in the life of a TBI Survivor can be an essential component for their road to recovery.

According to Dr. Frank Crane, “Nobody has things just as he would like them. The thing to do is to make a success with what material I have. It is a sheer waste of time and soul power to imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not different.” (Cook, 1993). After experiencing a traumatic event that causes one’s whole way of thinking, way of life and cognitive function to change, it is difficult to focus on anything outside of “I wish I were the same as I used to be.” If a victim of a TBI remains fixated on this thought, the probability of progressing to the next level of recovery, or the next level of higher functioning will be very slim. However, on a positive note, if one changes his or her way of thinking, or the mindset of their fixation, the results could be empowering and allow them to succeed.

According to Robert Baker author of the Social Work Dictionary, cognitive theory is a group of concepts pertaining to the way individuals develop the intellectual capacity for receiving, processing, and acting on information. Cognitive concepts emphasize that behavior is determined by thinking and goal determination, rather than primarily resulting from instinctive drives or unconscious motivations (2003, p. 80). In other words, if one can change their way of thinking, the result will be a change of behavior. In The Essential Brain Injury Guide, by the Brain Injury Association of America, it is emphasized that due to frontal lobe damage that is often a result of a Brain Injury, the executive functions that drive initiative and motivation may become impaired which results in initiation problems. An initiation problem, as defined by the Brain Injury Association of America, is difficulty in engaging in activities unless prompted (2007).

In the initial stages of recovery one may need to use written note cards or set alarms on a cell phone as a prompt to remember to go brush their teeth or to fix breakfast, for example. Eventually once those skills are mastered, different prompts such as using a planner may be used as reminders to attend specific doctor’s appointments and so on. These prompting methods have been found to be very effective in getting short term, specific goals/tasks met. But what about long term goals? What about the “big overall picture” that a survivor can work towards, a picture that is broken down into smaller goals until attained? Could it be possible that a sense of purpose could serve as a “prompt” for a TBI survivor that essentially causes him or her to engage in activities that aide in reaching or meeting that purpose? The need for purpose is just as strong and relevant for an individual that has survived a TBI as it is for the “average Joe”. Our basic developmental and emotional needs do not go away as a result of a TBI, in fact, in many cases these basic needs not only remain, but intensify, and often need to be re-addressed.

In 1954 Abraham Maslow and other humanistic professionals developed a view that today is known as The Hierarchy of Needs, which suggests that people’s needs occur in ascending order. One fulfills physiological needs first, followed by needs for safety, belonging, self-respect and self-worth, and finally self-actualization or achieving one’s full potential (Baker, 2003, p.195). This Hierarchy of Needs can be applied to all individuals including those that have suffered from a TBI. The difference is that the survivor may have to re-develop stages that were already developed prior to receiving the injury and may now also take longer in developing the other stages due to the nature of the injury. The fact still remains that as long as there is a hierarchy there will always be another level to reach, and as long as the person is alive, there will be the need for fulfillment.

So how can we help those that have survived a TBI reach that next level on the Hierarchy of Needs? How can we help them identify a sense of purpose that will serve as their prompt to press on and not get stuck in a developmental stage? If you are a friend or a family member of a loved one that is a TBI survivor then you can play a major role in helping your loved one reach the level. After one acquires a TBI, their likes and dislikes often change significantly. Before he or she may have loved scuba diving, but now detests getting into the water. The key is to identify in the TBI survivor something that they truly enjoy and feel passionate about now in their current state. Initially, they may need the assistance of another to draw it out of them or to help them see it. However, once it is identified, the hard part is over. Any identified interest can be used as a positive outlet, as a source of meaning and is worth looking into. If, for example, your loved one acquired a love for animals after their TBI, it may be beneficial for them to get connected with a support group of animal lovers or volunteer at an animal shelter and so on. Once your loved one begins to get involved with others that share the same interest and passion as he or she does, then opportunities in the area of interest will become available. Connecting them with others will also give them a social outlet and allow them to interact in their community and build up their social skills.

In the very beginning stages of recovering from a TBI, family members and friends are very supportive and willing to do whatever is necessary to help get their loved one back into the normalcy of life. There comes a time in the recovery process that a TBI survivor transitions from physical restoration to emotional restoration where they seek to belong, and find meaning once again. Just as a TBI survivor may have had to learn how to walk again, or read again, he or she will also need to re-visit the fundamental human development questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? and What is my Purpose?.” A TBI survivor can gain a new purpose and sense of meaning by asking and answering: “Who am I now as a result of my TBI?,” “Why did I survive?,” and “What is my new purpose in life?.”

The need for purpose is essential for every unique individual that exists. Life may throw us a curve ball and change the course of our path, but that should not cause us to stand still. There is always more to learn, more to gain, more to achieve, and a new level to reach. Roger De Busy-Rabutin once said, “We must like what we have when we don’t have what we like” (Cook, 1997). If you have a loved one that has suffered from a TBI and survived, do not give up on them and allow them to stay stuck in their current stage of recovery. There are more stages of recovery for TBI survivors, than most individuals realize, and can be life-long. Be the initial prompt that they need to find their passion and purpose that will get them to their next level.

References

Baker, R.L. (2003). The Social Work Dictionary (5^th ed). Baltimore, MD: Port City Press.

Brain Injury Association of America (2007). The Essential Brain Injury Guide (4^th ed).

Ypsilanti, MI: Rainbow Rehabilitation Centers, Inc.

Cook, J. (1997). The Book of Positive Quotations. Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press.

Center of Disease Control and Prevention (2010). Facts About Traumatic Brain Injury.

Retrieved from http://www.brainline.org/content/2008/07/facts-about-traumatic-

brain-injury.html.