The Need for Purpose

The Need for Purpose

Jessica Felix Jager, MSW

As we all journey through life and get older, the timeless and fundamental human development questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? and What is my Purpose?,” begin to entertain our thoughts. For many of us, it is when we find the answers to these fundamental questions that we begin to gain a sense of meaning or purpose in our lives. When I was a little girl at the age of 6, I recall sitting in my first grade classroom in Germany learning that I could be anything I wanted to be when I became an adult. What does that mean exactly? Could I become a singer just because I wanted to? Or could I become the next Van Gogh using my doodling skills? As I grew older I learned that there is a difference in becoming who you are, rather than becoming what you want to be.

Can anyone truly be a singer merely because he or she wants to be one? What if he or she is tone deaf and cannot sing on key if life itself depended on it? The point here is that we are each uniquely made with different skills, talents and purposes that incorporate these natural skills within us. Although acquired and learned skills are essential for implicating our natural skills, it is still important to note that there is a difference between becoming who you are rather than what you want to be.

It is when we find our sense of purpose that we begin our journey of becoming who we are as individuals. For example, Mother Teresa did not become the epitome of true servant hood until she actively lived her purpose. Mother Teresa found that her purpose in this life was to love God and His people by serving them and meeting their needs by any means necessary. Suppose Mother Teresa fought who she was and instead became a stewardess. How would life as we know it have been different? How would the lives of all those she impacted in Calcutta have been different? As she lived out her purpose, she became who she was- a true servant of God.

Some may now be asking, “So how does one find their purpose and then live it?” The answer to this question can only be answered by the one asking the question. Each of us have been made uniquely, with different abilities. We all must search within ourselves and ask ourselves “What do I love to do? What stirs me up inside when I am doing it? What makes me feel a sense of worth and passion when I am doing it? What makes me feel accomplished?” If one can ask these questions and answer them, the hard part is done. Once you identify your passions, the foundation for your purpose in this life has been laid. Everything else you do from here on out should build off of this foundation. The need for purpose is prevalent to each of us, as it ultimately defines us.

Now here is the twist. You find your passion and purpose and then with no forewarning a traumatic accident or event takes place, and life as you once knew it is no more. What now?

The millions of American’s that have been diagnosed with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) find themselves asking this very question: “What now?” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that at least 5.3 million Americans currently have a long-term or lifelong need for help to perform activities of daily living as a result of a TBI (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010). According to Brain Injury Association of America, Brain Injury is the second most prevalent injury and disability in the United States (2007). The second most prevalent, means that acquiring a Brain Injury via a traumatic event has become common. Over 1.7 million people sustain a TBI each year (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010). It could happen to anyone on any given day, and would result in needing to re-learn one’s self, one’s limitations, how to function in society again and how to re-gain a new sense of purpose to be motivated and keep going. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, TBI can cause a wide range of functional changes affecting thinking, language, learning, emotions, behavior, and/or sensation (2010).

There are different ways one may acquire a brain injury and no brain injury is the same, as it affects each individual differently. The rationale of this article is not to define what a TBI is or how one may receive it. The principle of this article is to focus on how a traumatic event that results in a Brain Injury can affect an individual’s sense of purpose, and what measures can be taken to help the Survivor find purpose once again. This article will attempt to articulate how identifying a new purpose in the life of a TBI Survivor can be an essential component for their road to recovery.

According to Dr. Frank Crane, “Nobody has things just as he would like them. The thing to do is to make a success with what material I have. It is a sheer waste of time and soul power to imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not different.” (Cook, 1993). After experiencing a traumatic event that causes one’s whole way of thinking, way of life and cognitive function to change, it is difficult to focus on anything outside of “I wish I were the same as I used to be.” If a victim of a TBI remains fixated on this thought, the probability of progressing to the next level of recovery, or the next level of higher functioning will be very slim. However, on a positive note, if one changes his or her way of thinking, or the mindset of their fixation, the results could be empowering and allow them to succeed.

According to Robert Baker author of the Social Work Dictionary, cognitive theory is a group of concepts pertaining to the way individuals develop the intellectual capacity for receiving, processing, and acting on information. Cognitive concepts emphasize that behavior is determined by thinking and goal determination, rather than primarily resulting from instinctive drives or unconscious motivations (2003, p. 80). In other words, if one can change their way of thinking, the result will be a change of behavior. In The Essential Brain Injury Guide, by the Brain Injury Association of America, it is emphasized that due to frontal lobe damage that is often a result of a Brain Injury, the executive functions that drive initiative and motivation may become impaired which results in initiation problems. An initiation problem, as defined by the Brain Injury Association of America, is difficulty in engaging in activities unless prompted (2007).

In the initial stages of recovery one may need to use written note cards or set alarms on a cell phone as a prompt to remember to go brush their teeth or to fix breakfast, for example. Eventually once those skills are mastered, different prompts such as using a planner may be used as reminders to attend specific doctor’s appointments and so on. These prompting methods have been found to be very effective in getting short term, specific goals/tasks met. But what about long term goals? What about the “big overall picture” that a survivor can work towards, a picture that is broken down into smaller goals until attained? Could it be possible that a sense of purpose could serve as a “prompt” for a TBI survivor that essentially causes him or her to engage in activities that aide in reaching or meeting that purpose? The need for purpose is just as strong and relevant for an individual that has survived a TBI as it is for the “average Joe”. Our basic developmental and emotional needs do not go away as a result of a TBI, in fact, in many cases these basic needs not only remain, but intensify, and often need to be re-addressed.

In 1954 Abraham Maslow and other humanistic professionals developed a view that today is known as The Hierarchy of Needs, which suggests that people’s needs occur in ascending order. One fulfills physiological needs first, followed by needs for safety, belonging, self-respect and self-worth, and finally self-actualization or achieving one’s full potential (Baker, 2003, p.195). This Hierarchy of Needs can be applied to all individuals including those that have suffered from a TBI. The difference is that the survivor may have to re-develop stages that were already developed prior to receiving the injury and may now also take longer in developing the other stages due to the nature of the injury. The fact still remains that as long as there is a hierarchy there will always be another level to reach, and as long as the person is alive, there will be the need for fulfillment.

So how can we help those that have survived a TBI reach that next level on the Hierarchy of Needs? How can we help them identify a sense of purpose that will serve as their prompt to press on and not get stuck in a developmental stage? If you are a friend or a family member of a loved one that is a TBI survivor then you can play a major role in helping your loved one reach the level. After one acquires a TBI, their likes and dislikes often change significantly. Before he or she may have loved scuba diving, but now detests getting into the water. The key is to identify in the TBI survivor something that they truly enjoy and feel passionate about now in their current state. Initially, they may need the assistance of another to draw it out of them or to help them see it. However, once it is identified, the hard part is over. Any identified interest can be used as a positive outlet, as a source of meaning and is worth looking into. If, for example, your loved one acquired a love for animals after their TBI, it may be beneficial for them to get connected with a support group of animal lovers or volunteer at an animal shelter and so on. Once your loved one begins to get involved with others that share the same interest and passion as he or she does, then opportunities in the area of interest will become available. Connecting them with others will also give them a social outlet and allow them to interact in their community and build up their social skills.

In the very beginning stages of recovering from a TBI, family members and friends are very supportive and willing to do whatever is necessary to help get their loved one back into the normalcy of life. There comes a time in the recovery process that a TBI survivor transitions from physical restoration to emotional restoration where they seek to belong, and find meaning once again. Just as a TBI survivor may have had to learn how to walk again, or read again, he or she will also need to re-visit the fundamental human development questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? and What is my Purpose?.” A TBI survivor can gain a new purpose and sense of meaning by asking and answering: “Who am I now as a result of my TBI?,” “Why did I survive?,” and “What is my new purpose in life?.”

The need for purpose is essential for every unique individual that exists. Life may throw us a curve ball and change the course of our path, but that should not cause us to stand still. There is always more to learn, more to gain, more to achieve, and a new level to reach. Roger De Busy-Rabutin once said, “We must like what we have when we don’t have what we like” (Cook, 1997). If you have a loved one that has suffered from a TBI and survived, do not give up on them and allow them to stay stuck in their current stage of recovery. There are more stages of recovery for TBI survivors, than most individuals realize, and can be life-long. Be the initial prompt that they need to find their passion and purpose that will get them to their next level.

References

Baker, R.L. (2003). The Social Work Dictionary (5^th ed). Baltimore, MD: Port City Press.

Brain Injury Association of America (2007). The Essential Brain Injury Guide (4^th ed).

Ypsilanti, MI: Rainbow Rehabilitation Centers, Inc.

Cook, J. (1997). The Book of Positive Quotations. Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press.

Center of Disease Control and Prevention (2010). Facts About Traumatic Brain Injury.

Retrieved from http://www.brainline.org/content/2008/07/facts-about-traumatic-

brain-injury.html.

William's Perspective

The first thing I remember was waking up one day, looking around and realizing something was wrong; I couldn’t talk or move. Little did I know at the time, my life had been changed forever. I had a traumatic brain injury. I was told I was in Charlotte Rehab Hospital in Charlotte, N.C., but I didn’t understand what had happened to me. In March of 2005, while traveling to Florida, the car I was riding in was hit by an 18 wheeler. Due to the impact, I had a traumatic brain injury, six strokes, and was airlifted to Shands Hospital in Jacksonville, Florida. I was coming out of a 40 day coma, unaware of anything that had happened to me. The first thing I remember seeing was a huge green tree out the window of my hospital room and my family all around me. They comforted me and kept telling me not to be afraid that God was taking care of me.

Over the next few weeks, I slowly began moving. I went from not being able to move my left leg at all, to moving my toes, then my foot, and then my leg. As I sat in my wheelchair in the hall of the hospital, watching others being pushed in their wheel chairs, I asked God to help me walk again.

My family began to give me food for my brain. I could feel something happening inside my body. I was gaining strength each day and movement was returning to my arms and I was able to stand up with my nurse or parents holding me, and then I took my first step. I learned, step by step, with the help of my therapist and family how to walk using a walker. It was as if I was learning everything all over again. I didn’t understand then why I had forgotten how to walk. Once I progressed to the stage of learning to walk with a cane, I decided my goal was to walk out of Charlotte Rehab when I was discharged.

The day finally came for me to go home; it had been 72 days since our accident. Praise God, I was finally discharged. It was obvious He heard my prayer because that day I was able to walk out the door of the Rehab Hospital.

But God did not stop there working in my life. After I got home I began family and outpatient therapy. My family worked with me almost non-stop every day. It seemed as if everything we did was turned into some type of therapy. In some ways, it was like waking up from a long dream and trying to figure out why life had changed while I was sleeping. But as I became more aware of what had happened to me and saw how God was healing me, my faith grew stronger and stronger and I asked Him to help me run again. Before the accident I was training as a cross country runner and the day before we left on our trip I ran seven miles. Thus it became my goal to run cross-country.

Month after month as my speech, motor skills, and walking all continued improving, my brain was working better and I was encouraged by that, but I still couldn’t run. I was determined not to give up. I kept working and believing God would help me reach my goal. My walking kept improving and then one day I was able to walk to the end of our hall with more speed. My family cheered me on, worked with me and encouraged me to keep going and believing that God was rebuilding my strength to run someday.

I continued working on building my strength through good nutrition, and food for my brain cells. (My goal now is to tell everyone about this brain food.) I exercised my body and my brain daily. My brain had to be trained and exercised. My mom would say, “We have to train your brain, tell your brain to move your arm.” Training my brain to relearn everything became our daily routine.

After a year of constantly training and feeding my brain it gained strength and relearned almost everything that I knew before the accident. When I left Charlotte Rehab I was 15 but only on an elementary level of understanding. The cognitive therapist said I would need much assistance and special classes to catch back up to my grade level. But with my family working with me, I was able to return to my Christian School in the fall of 2005 and finished the 10th grade with honors. Training my brain was working!

With a year of hard work, I was also able to run again. I still stumbled and fell at times, but I would get back up and keep going. God kept restoring me and I was able to join the cross-country team my junior year of high school. On my first cross-country meet I placed 11th out of 60 runners. I was able to run cross country as well as keep my grades up. In the summer of my junior year I reach my original goal; I ran seven miles. Praise God!

My senior year was very hard, but I did well and graduated with honors! When I spoke at my graduation ceremony, I told my class that life will be full of obstacles; it is how you face these obstacles that determine the outcome. I gave God all the glory, for how He had helped me to face my obstacles and overcome them. I now know more than ever that He has a great plan and a purpose for my life. I want to help others who have suffered a brain injury by sharing with them how they too can “train their brain.”
William Boggs

Safe in the Hand of God

“Your right hand has held me up; Your gentleness and condescension have made me great.” Psalms 18:35 (Amplified)

How comforting it is to know that our life is safe and secure in the hand of God. The very one who created the universe holds us in His hand. It is in those times when there is a great trial in your life that you really understand His full protection. It is in the trials that you are aware of His strong presence as a shield as He works all things out for your good.

When I was in the middle of the greatest trial of my life, I learned what it means to release everything into the hands of God. He revealed to me what He would do if I would take my hands off of the situation and simply trust in Him. He told me to read Revelation 21:5. I turned quickly to the verse that assured me of His intentions. “Behold, I make all things new . . .” it did not say some things, a few things or most things. That verse said “all things.” At the time I was looking at my son laying in the hospital in a coma. His life was totally in the hands of God. The doctors said that there was nothing they could do. With this statement we knew that there was nothing on earth that could be done, our sons life was in the Great Physician’s hands. God said, “Behold, (or watch) I will make all things new.” Or, as we say it today, “Watch this”

We prayed, released him to the Lord and watched as The Great Physician worked. He started with a single tooth. Our son’s front tooth was knocked completely out of place from the can accident. As we prayed and declared, “He will make all things new” by the afternoon his tooth had moved back into place. That may not seem significant but, it was huge for us. As he lay there paralyzed and unable to move, God was saying, trust me, if I am concerned with his tooth you can trust me with every part of his body. We prayed and watched for 72 days as each finger and toe slowly began to move.

Today, every part of our son’s body is moving freely and he lives a normal life. We learned during those difficult days, to trust in God with the smallest things like a tooth. Once we saw something as small as a tooth move we knew He had the situation in His hands, and He was shaping and molding everything together for good. So today, trust in God, He is holding you and your family in the palm of His hand and He will work all things out for good.

Dad's Journey

Life comes at you and it comes at you fast and often with great fury bringing the unexpected, both pleasant and tragic. Many have experienced this and even as you read this first line your mind is taken to the experience of your own life. Life often seems unfair and the question of “why” and “will this every end?” roll through your mind in an almost tormenting way.

Such has been the case in our won life, but I’m here to tell you that there is an end to the trauma, and there is help and there is hope.

On March 26th 2005, the call came that my family had been in a serious car accident in Florida. My wife was okay, our daughter had serious facial injuries, and our son had been air-lifted to a trauma center in Jacksonville, Florida. A few hours later I arrived at the hospital about the same time as my wife, we were told that our son William was not expected to live through the night. He had experienced a traumatic brain injury and the doctors believed his brain stem had been severed. You can imagine the shock and the horror that we initially felt, and the emotions that we experienced when we first walked into that room and saw our son lying there in a coma, hooked up to 15 tubes and on life support. Just hours earlier, this healthy, athletic 15 year old young man had left home to go to his grandparent’s house for spring break, with the intent of reading the Purpose Driven Life to find out what his purpose was for being on this planet. And now he was fighting for his life. I’ll fill in more of the details later.

Now almost three years later, I’m here to tell you of the journey of faith, help, hope, and love. William not only lived, but has done everything that the doctors said he would never do, and he will graduate with his class May 31st.

There have been many components to Williams’s recovery and over the next few weeks, I will share these with you with the hope that they will help and encourage you.

William's Story

A Journey of Faith

On March 26th 2005 our two children (William and Casey) and I (Denise) were traveling to my parent’s home in Florida for spring break. In Stark, Fl. after a brief stop we pulled out into the highway and we were hit by a semi truck. Our daughter Casey suffered many facial lacerations and our son William suffered a severe head injury. When paramedics arrived, William was not breathing and did not have vital signs, he was immediately air lifted to Shands Jacksonville Trauma Center. When he arrived at the hospital he was in a complete coma. He was put on total life support and remained in a coma in critical condition for the next 15 days. During those 15 days, even though he was on full life support, we knew that it was God who was keeping him alive.